Brain Injury & Mental Health struggles: 3 powerful actions to support healing

How can you deal with such a complex and sensitive matter as traumatic brain injury, when there is no clear path to be guided by? 

I have struggled with acknowledging urgent difficulties in my changed mental health after I fainted and hit the floor with my head. You have probably seen these scenes in costume drama movies; noble women who faint because of some mild scare about a subject that was too inappropriate for their ears and are being caught by some saviour standing nearby. 

Well, let me clear up that dreamy image; I sure as hell didn’t get caught by my saviour and instead went down, head first.

The decline of my mental health that followed happened because of an accident that resulted in (mild) traumatic brain injury, but you may very well experience the same sort of mental health issues because of a burn out, depression, anxiety or something else. Whatever the case, I hope by reading my personal story and by clarifying some logical steps, I can support you with your valid struggle. 

Let me continue my story on how I tried to do damage control with my ‘hard worker’ energy.
I’ve always seen myself as a tough, hard working woman ready to face the impossible and fainting in the sauna was not part of my repertoire. But somehow it took place and I was not prepared for what happened afterwards.

On the surface it may not be very visible, that I have dealt and, after 3 years, am still dealing with a mild traumatic brain injury with persistent issues. At first, things might not seem out of the ordinary. But when paying more attention, you might notice that things just seem a little off. What is going on?

Let me try to explain. It feels like suddenly waking up as someone else with poor judgements and outbursts. All of a sudden my surroundings had to deal with someone who developed impulsive behaviour, negativity and intolerance towards the smallest things.

My trusted and safe environment  contained unfeasible tasks and riddles out of the blue. I could suddenly panic in just the typical day to day conversation, freak out what side of the key fits the keyhole, manically miss deadlines, become irrational or overly sensitive about other people’s unexpected behaviour or I suddenly wanted to leave because of one too many sniffs or coughs in the room.

I stubbornly tried to patch things up while I naively tried to continue my life, but there is just so much a noise canceling headphone or oversized sunglasses can solve. Healing from traumatic brain injury doesn’t solely require physical treatment, or solely taking the often advised ‘rest’. It  is also an invisible illness, demanding an ‘in depth’ psychological healing.

Whether you are dealing with the same problem or are facing other issues with your mental health, if no proper diagnosis gets made or if there is little recognition around this topic (which is often the case), the stress or shame around it will worsen the symptoms.

I’d like to give you 3 steps you can follow to overcome the shame and stress around the subject of mental health issues:

1. Do research on what it is you’re dealing with.

First, it is mandatory to find the proper information about what it is that you are dealing with. Dive into the subject and find articles from progressive doctors who actually understand the hardships you are facing. Correct information about a challenging period in your life, can make all the difference for finding recognition and finding the proper care. You are never alone and other people have dealt with it before.

Everything you feel is valid and the most important thing to do is finding a way for you to feel better. I’ll give you a summary of the research I have done about what it means to have an injured brain. A brain injury can change the way people feel or experience emotions. A person with a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) can develop severe types of emotional problems. This seems like a niche subject maybe, yet it is actually more common than you might think.

Globally it is estimated that around 69 million individuals suffer from brain injury per year. The effects are ill-defined and thus it is hard to diagnose someone, let alone give the proper care or rehabilitation methods the individual is in need for. But one thing is certain: even a mild traumatic brain injury can potentially cause major failure.

Diving into the subject a little more

This is what Medical Research Center Mayo Clinic has to say about the subject:

TBI is a sudden injury that causes damage to the brain. It may happen when there is a blow, jolt or bump on the head. Mild traumatic brain injury may affect your brain cells temporarily.

More-serious traumatic brain injury can result in bruising, torn tissues, bleeding and other physical damage to the brain. These injuries can result in long-term complications.

Traumatic brain injury can have wide-ranging physical and psychological effects. Some signs or symptoms may appear immediately after the traumatic event, while others may appear days or weeks later.

There are numerous physical and sensory problems that can arise, such as headaches and fogginess, but let us focus on the mental symptoms when diagnosing a TBI.  

• Sensitivity to light or sound
• Loss of Memory or concentration
• Psychological issues like depression, mood swings, anxiety and irritability
• Insomnia or sleeping more than usual
• Profound confusion, agitation, combativeness or other unusual behaviour
• Slurred speech or difficulty with speaking.

It is unclear to specify what exactly changes because it differs per individual. But one thing is very clear; Any movement in our most precious yet delicate organ, is one movement too many. A change the size of a quantum particle, can alter serious behavioural change.

Christopher Giza, professor of pediatric neurology and neurosurgery at UCLA explains that the movement of the brain can put pressure on the brain stem, causing it to move. This can cause brain circuits to break or lose their insulation. Knowing what happened after an event that caused internal change, can give you recognition and will make the next step easier:

2. Getting a proper diagnosis

Getting a proper diagnosis and finding the right type of rehabilitation route is vital for you to regain strength concerning your mental health. You might have to push through some skeptic or uncooperative settings, but because you did proper investigation on what caused your mental health to decline, you can deal with it! 

The problem with having a mental health issue is the invisibility of the complication. For a long period, I experienced a lack of explanation in basic medical care and went from doctor to doctor.

I experienced common medical treatment as skipping a beat when it came down to informing me about  healing the damage done to the brain. My theory about it is; common treatment is not yet fully equipped to treat the emotional decline as part of a physical injury. Treating emotional decline in general is not a common subject, so it is a tough issue to feel recognised in. 

 I am not saying that doctors generally don’t inform people properly, or that proper treatment doesn’t exist. There are numerous groundbreaking treatments within neuropsychology or NLP strategies and the like. But it is not common.

It is therefore important to know what treatments are possible, so you can have an informed discussion with your doctor. Consulting a neuropsychologist, a behavioural therapist, or a mental coach could be a first step towards better healing. If you are dealing with the same burdens, I advise you to go niche, depending on what setting you feel the most challenged in (I will write more specific blogs about certain niches I highly recommend).  

My personal experience

For me personally I had difficulty with being vulnerable in close and intimate relationships. I suddenly experienced emotions in a different way and I had a hard time explaining or pinpointing my changes to somebody else. I remained in the dark for quite some time, because I had learned myself that a tough cookie does not wallow in self pity or over explain their emotions. Sounds familiar?  

When having done proper research and you are searching for the right treatment for it, it is mandatory to inform your surroundings so that they can somewhat understand the struggles you are dealing with and why your behaviour has changed. 

3. How to deal with your surroundings

Having a ‘community’ around us makes us better beings. But what happens when you suddenly feel like an alien? Our first reaction might be to shut ourselves off from our trusted environment. But when it comes to mental health, this ‘shutdown’ can worsen mental health issues even faster. 

For friends and family it can be tough navigating through the difficulties of a person suffering with mental health problems, when there is no clear explanation about the sudden change. 

To maintain a healthy relationship, both sides should always stay open for understanding, open communication, empathy and the willingness to navigate through uncertain terrain or sudden changes. 

One of the challenges I faced was when  loved ones wanted to talk ‘reason’ into me while I was having a panic attack or outburst. The outburst is caused by an overload of stimuli and everything that is added on top of that experience puts more pressure on the nervous system. In that moment, how unreasonable it seemed, I simply needed acknowledgement from the person standing next to me, in how intense I experienced that specific moment. 

If you are dealing with a TBI like me, it is crucial for  friends and family to understand the plausible behavioural and emotional changes happening to you. 

What helped me to regain some control was creating lists with a little self help wisdom.  I learned how to quiet the nerves a little bit by creating a ‘brain injury toolkit’ I could take with me and a ‘what to bring when going on a trip’ pack list (I will share this in another blog post). 

I also recommend writing sweet notes to yourself when you have a good day, such as; things that you are good at, beautiful accomplishments that you have reached, and amazing goals you are committed to achieve. Reading the sweetness on bad days can help you brighten up when you actually feel like nothing is working and the grey in the sky is the only thing that exists. 

Where I am now, I understand a little more

I didn’t want to be a patient, because I didn’t want to feel weak. But now, after some time, I understand the transition I have had and of course it made me stronger. 

Recovering means that you’re still trying to be someone you used to be, while healing means that you’re stepping into someone entirely new.

I had to say goodbye to things that were very dear to me. Beautiful and nice things, and that is sad. But I am proud of how I navigated myself throughout the years. I don’t regret things and don’t wallow in what I should have done differently. It is not being thankful for the event, but thankful towards myself for how I approached a hard situation and how I regained strength and grounded again. 

I am healing, and not recovering, which includes beautiful and less beautiful moments. And for the first time, I feel that it is okay to experience them both, simultaneously. 

A moment of grief and anxiousness is a temporary phase. It doesn’t really matter how long it takes to overcome it, it still is something that will pass when facing it with kindness to yourself. I have more understanding and patience towards it and will not ignore the signals my body is giving me in hard times. The body is wise and we have to learn to understand its wisdom. 

So, at what stage am I ? I’d say a pretty peaceful one. The heavy storm has passed. I do feel sad about the ships that sank along with it, though I am curious about all the new ships that will soon sail across the horizon. 

Conclusion: 3 important steps to support your healing

Let me give you a little recap about the steps you can take, when dealing with a mental health issue:

1. Find the proper information about your personal issue. You are not alone and others have dealt with it before. If you can find research from progressive doctors, you can better understand your own difficulties concerning your mental health. It is okay to feel what you feel!
2. Search for the right rehabilitation routes and don’t stop until you’ve found someone or some clinic that fully understands what you are going through and can help you get better and heal.
3. Let your surroundings in on what it is that you are dealing with. You’d be surprised how many people open up or soften, when they understand what is happening to you. You don’t need to go in full detail if you don’t want to, but letting people know will help you overcome difficult times. Us humans are better, when having a community to rely on. Don’t think you are an alien. We all have to deal with our emotional depth and being transparent in your difficult time, may even create the love and respect you actually desire.

You are so brave for being vulnerable and your world will change with you when you realise that being vulnerable is a strength and not a weakness. Read more about my personal path of discovering this. 

It is not being thankful for the event, but thankful towards yourself for how you approached a hard situation and how you regained strength and grounded again. 

Question: What have been your difficulties in acknowledging issues about your mental health?